White House Correspondent's Dinner...Hosted by Stephen Colbert...

April 29, 2006

"no matter what happens to America she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo opts in the world!"

This is Stephen Colbert speaking at the White House Correspondents Dinner. He satirically lambastes the Bush administration and Washington Culture in front of Bush himself as well as big time Washington power players. This performance will soon be legend.



**in the beginning of this speech, note how Colbert uses his original definition of "truthiness" as quoted on the first entry of this blog, when discussing Laura Bush's literacy campaign**


The second part of Colbert's brilliant performance at the White House Correspondent's Dinner including his short audition tape to be Scott McLellan's successor.

Shopgirl

I forgot how much I love this movie...

the block of ice in which I've been frozen has begun to thaw...

"Contrary to the cliche, Capricorns love to party from time to time - as long as the party doesn't last all night. You're more cheerful these days, and although you may still be recovering from your Chiron transit, the block of ice in which you've been frozen has begun to thaw. Because your planetary ruler has been in retrograde since last fall, you've probably been wasting too much time thinking about how short life is. Since they won't be coming to take you away anytime soon, why not find a nice, healthy outlet for all your passion."

When are Weese Nuts in Season?

In case anyone out there knows?

I met a very lovely, yet very lonely and inebriated lady named Barbara last Saturday night. She, like Y.F. and myself, had also missed the benefit - and it would seem for the same reason that we did. Anyway, amongst the hippie circus freaks she told me a very sad story of how she had received a bad can of waterchestnuts from the foodbank - I suggested that maybe she should stick to less exotic products while browsing those shelves.

"But I'm a vegetarian!" she insisted. Apparently beggars can be choosers. Anyway, I'm not sure what tinny waterchestnuts have to do with animal welfare - but being a vegetarian myself I felt obliged to offer her an alternative. Luckily, Scott came up with just the thing - as I had no doubt that he would(although not technically a vegetarian option) "Weese Nuts!"



Back in high school we all enjoyed a good handful of Weese Nuts from time to time. In fact they are considered a delicacy just slightly east of the eden we call the T-dot. However, I can't remember when Weese Nuts are in season?...perhaps we'll just have to ask Kevin...

Something Smells Fishy in the Hallway Tonight...

NO COOKING FISH!

Nowhere Ever!

And Especially Not in the Lunchroom at Work!

It's so stinky!

People, please...enough with the fish!

Random Colbert Trivia that the New Yorker Thought was Relevant Enough to Publish...

Stephen Colbert, one of eleven children, the father of three, a suburban guy, and deaf in one ear. “I had this weird tumor as a kid, and they scooped it out with a melon baller.”
The New Yorker, Issue of 2005-07-25

"Since Bill Murray’s departure for the movies, no one has done fatuous like Colbert does fatuous"
The New Yorker, Issue of 2005-07-25

This Week in God

This Week in God (also known as TWiG) is a segment run periodically on The Daily Show featuring the "God Machine" and a satirical run-down of "everything God did this week."

Stephen Colbert has historically done this sketch, though occasionally it has been done by other correspondents. Due to the spin-off of The Colbert Report, the sketch was handed off to Rob Corddry. Said Colbert of the hand-off: "God has an exclusive licensing agreement with The Daily Show. We're trying to get the Devil for our show."

One of the loudest responses in terms of audience laughter during a segment of "This Week in God" occurred when Colbert missed the God Machine entirely when he tried to smack it, and then in an immediate improvisation, gazed upward and started wagging his finger, playfully telling God "I'm too fast for you, old man."

In one of the last appearances of the God Machine with Mr. Colbert, he revealed an upgraded God Machine 2.0, "Now, with chalice holder! I no longer have to search for my holy grail," from which he then took a sip before replacing the chalice in its holder and giving the God Machine its usual smack.

Incidentally, although Colbert made the God Machine famous as an icon for irreverent and sometimes seemingly dissidently provocative examination of religious issues, in his private life he is an actively practicing Roman Catholic.

Strangers With Candy...for us babies...

Born and raised in South Carolina, Colbert began making a name for himself in Chicago as a member of the famed Second City improv troupe where he met Amy Sedaris and Paul Dinello. After several years at Second City, the threesome moved to New York City and, along with others, developed Exit 57, a half-hour sketch comedy series for HBO Downtown Productions which ran for two seasons during the mid-'90s on Comedy Central. Exit 57 received five CableACE nominations for best writing, performing and comedy series.

Colbert reunited with Sedaris and Dinello to create Comedy Central's first ever, live-action, narrative series, Strangers with Candy, a twisted take on the classic and typically moralistic afterschool specials. Colbert also starred opposite Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman in Bewitched; wrote and was a cast member on The Dana Carvey Show; appeared in commercials for GM "Mr. Goodwrench;" wrote for Saturday Night Live and was the voice of Ace on the animated SNL series "The Ambiguously Gay Duo."

Since 1997, Stephen Colbert has been The Daily Show's longest-running and most diverse correspondent. In addition to his role as Senior Political Correspondent he was one of the hosts of "Even Stephven," a point-counterpoint assault featuring co-correspondent Steve Carell, and the host of "This Week in God," in which he reported on all things theological with the assistance of the "God Machine."

Stephen helped The Daily Show with Jon Stewart to win numerous Emmy and Peabody Awards, and contributed to America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction (Warner Books), which immediately topped The New York Times Best Seller List and stayed there for 15 consecutive weeks.

His personality, insight and overall rightness could only lead to The Colbert Report, a half-hour nightly platform for him to give his take on the issues of the day, and, more importantly, to tell you why everyone else's take is just plain wrong.

Open wide, baby bird, because mama's got a big, fat nightcrawler of Truth

And that brings us to tonight's word: truthiness.

Now I'm sure some of the Word Police, the wordanistas over at Webster's, are gonna say, "Hey, that's not a word." Well, anybody who knows me knows that I'm no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true, or what did or didn't happen. Who's Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was finished in 1914? If I wanna say it happened in 1941, that's my right. I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart.